Oh man oh man oh MAN!
Life is good. Seriously, I am headed exactly in the right direction.
It's so funny how we take these little detours, trying to find out which path to take, but then when you find it, it's like, traffic is smooth, weather is nice and you've got a full tank of gas.
I love it!
Finally started saving up some money for the days to come. I have about 200 in my saving right now and every week a new paycheck in my checking, it's fucking awesome. I love my life.

My new buddy Adam and I have been going to just about every music event we can find in Orange County and let me tell ya, for a place that's supposed to be so "up and coming" in music, there aren't THAT many things happening here! It's all in LA! It's ridiculous, hahah! But I've been meeting so many people and they all ask me what I'm doing and where I'm going and what not. Adam knows E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E.
Last week I got to see Dagha Blooms practice space where they held their last warehouse party, and let me tell you, I don't think I've seen a cooler space than that. I wish it was open to the PUBLIC! that's how fucking cool it is. They played their new song for us, which is EPIC. I felt privileged, to see the magic in action. I'm very lucky, I realize that more and more everyday.

Not to mention I finally had a few days off to hang with Benji and Yaz-dizzle. I love them, I always have such a good time with them. It's like the good ole days, when everyone got along and egos weren't flaring out of the roof. We're just friends, plan and simple. There for each other, caring about each other, it makes me a bit nostalgic, but then I realize, I wouldn't be where I am today, if it wasn't for all the events that occurred. Everything happens for a reason! It's our job to learn from our past mistakes, and keep making more, heheh :D

Work has been pretty awesome also. We get so many benefits at Mother's and the owner comes into Kean everyday so we're buds. I can't complain. I really can't complain. It's all experience to move me into the next step of my life.
I can't wait till I don't have to work two jobs to pay rent, till I can start playing music full time!!!! GAHH!!
And just wait! Within the next few months I'm getting my iMac and I'll be RECORDING! Hahahah!
My mouth just waters thinking about all the possibilities.... gahhhhh--->mouth watering.

Anyway, visiting Breanna at the end of this month, visiting Portland at the end of NEXT month and December? Who knows about December, so many things could happen between now and then, I don't even want to jinx myself. Let's just say, karma is not always just a bitch, sometimes it is a good-humored gentleman. And we're going to get it on.

hehehe.

OH OH OH! MY camera is up and running again, which MEANS, life is wonderful. This weather has been PERFECT for shooting outside, the clouds create the most beautiful defused lighting you can imagine. Everyone is beautiful in this light, even if they're not happy about the weather.

But I just wanted to write about the stuff that makes my world go round, because sometimes I forget all the ways in which I'm privileged.  I've got friends who love me, family I would die for and I'm meeting more people everyday. I've got a roof over my head, a car, food on my plate and if you didn't know, I'm a progessive human being, everyday means trying to become better in every way. Life. Is. Grand.
Wouldn't dare ask for more, I'll just go out and get it :P

So many pictures to chooooose from! Which shall prevail!?

well well well.
i'm going to london in a little while... about a week.
i cannot wait.
but at the same time, i am, of course, incredibly stressed.

i have about... 5 very important things that need to happen before i go on this trip:

1. send transcripts from occ/ivc to uci to ensure that i can actually go there next semester. (june 8th)
   
2. find my FUCKING passport! scratch that, my DAD needs to find my passport that he took from me, for... 'safe keeping' (june 13th... FUCK)
   
3. pack my shit in storage for an entire month (june 12th)
   
4. play the church show on friday (june12th)
5. find money to survive in london for a month (june 12th)
   (see find)
6. attend my brothers UCLA graduation the day i leave for london (june 13th)

see, i wrote 3 to begin with, then i realized... that i have actually more. then i wrote 5, thinking, no i'll just do 5, i know it's probably 5.
but no, it is 6.
it is 6.

anyway i plan to post things in here, lot of things in here. i want to post pictures, and websites, and you know... shit like that. shit that i love.

anyway, i'm in san diego to celebrate my mom's 50th birthday.
she's taking me on a shopping spree and we're going to get our hair did.
get our nails did.
i am excited, but, more concerned for my sanity than anything else, i would say. my sanity is at jeapordy here more than anything else.

i'm planning to dye my hair lighter tomorrow.
we'll see how that works out.
i'll either look really hot,
really bad,
or exactly the same as i do right now with multicolored hair.

wish me luck.

life has been so complicated recently.
sometimes i wonder why it has to be do confusing.
why cant the people we like, like us back, and the things we hate, disappear. i mean, would it really be SO bad if we got what we wished for at least some of the time? if we got the pony, or the boy did actually ask us to prom, or we got into the college of our dreams even though it seemed so impossible.
and i'm not going to lie, sometimes, things turn out just the way i want them to. and i'm never grateful, i'm just confused. and a little upset. why, when i don't really care about the true outcome can my wishes come true and when i REALLY REALLY care it doesn't even come close to what i'd like to occur.
there are people i have known in my past that i would have liked to have known forever, and i know few of them now. people from my past who i have loved as people and they are the ones i have absolutely no chance of knowing again.
 it's ok, i guess, it's just so disappointing at the same time. cause i actually miss those people... genuinely, as who they were, i miss them.
though i am so grateful for the people i know now, also.
tonight i had two very important conversations with two very important people in my life. and they have taken me so well.
sometimes i don't get that either. what is it that we all share that can make us understand each other in that way? we are all so completely different. do they even know how interesting that is?

i wish more of my friends had blogs like this. i feel like it's putting a lot out there for people to see. and i want my friends to have some way that i could literally read about their lives. i mean we're all so different that we sometimes have a hard time understanding each other... sometimes things get misconstrued, things get twisted out of focus.
i feel like a journal could help to clarify. that's why i am so FOR journalism. sometimes words from the mouth cannot say words from the mind and the heart. sometimes it has to physically leave the body in a more concrete manner, otherwise, things one says can just floating in the space, completely unstable in meaning.
 
i'm a bit... 'tired'
it's a friday night and i'm almost 21... so sue me. i'm a big girl.
heheh. :)

life is about living, and that ain't no lie.
don't try to take that from me.