And with it came the light.

Alright that's IT!!
I'm going to stop being a chicken and just WRITE.
SO HELLO. i hope you feel I am being forceful, as that is what I intend to imply.
Why am I chicken? Well that's none of your goddamn business, nosey!!
Life right now... I must say, is not at all bad. I just got my macbook pro in the mail on friday. in the shower when it arrived, got out and saw the package leaning against my door. I feel bad making all those weird noises whenever I get a package in the mail. Like, 'GAHHHHH!!! YAAHHH!!! WOOOAAHHH!' something like that.
I couldn't even wait to dry off/put clothes on. I just ripped opened the package and started setting it up. It felt so weird. this awesome piece of machinery belongs to ME! I get to put my name in it's system, I get to fuck it up with music downloads and unstable sites. Yay!!

Most importantly, I have no any excuse not to be putting out new music. So as much as I've been looking forward to getting this thing, I've also been dreading it. From here on out, it's all hard work. Dang it. But yay :D
So Friday I got the puter... on the same day Barbara asked me if I would play at the Lab for the Artery Art Opening on December 4th.... and today I had a jam sesh with Mr. Jones. Got Adam on the bandwagon for the show as well. Tried to records a little today in between the jamming and going to the Blank Tapes show in Laguna, but realized it's a little hard to record when I don't have headphones so that ended abruptly. However, when we met up with Ben before the show I told him about wanting to record and gee golly, that guy gave me a pair of headphones, a mic and a mic cord to hook up to my interface. Love that guy.  Seriously, best guy ever.

SO. tomorrow, after my 10 to 5, I'm probably going to be held-up in my room blowing shit up. On my compy. I'm still testing this thing out though. Seeing how it does with my huge amount of photo downloads right now.
Awesome. This thing is awesome. It may take a little getting to know, a little feeling up, but I think I'm getting the hang of it. I just keep accidentally enlarging and shrinking the screen occasionally.

BUT, I am officially, a mac user.
And I officially have no excuse. So. Anyone wanna jam?? Hit me UP.

On a different note (sort of), it's no fun having to wear work clothes all week long. It sucks. There's barely any room for personal expression. Although, I must say, I love my job(s). I love all the people I'm meeting everyday. Making connections with people, but if I don't think it's genuine, I don't bother. Let's not waste each others time, right?

Oh my, Mother's. It's awesome. I love the people I work with. Everyday is an adventure. I mean, it's work, but at the same time, seeing these people every week, whether we'd like to admit it or not, we're growing together, we're learning together. We experience the same atmospheres, the same ambiance in the same place.... basically wearing the same clothes. How can we not be connected? I feel it.
Kean is the same. I feel like we really try to hold onto our difference from other workplaces there. We don't let the fact that we're at work effect our personalities. What really makes that work is that Keanians (as I like to call them) are all very personable. I mean seriously though, check out our ratings on yelp.com. We get a 4.5/5 stars with 255 voters. That's fucking great. And personalized latte art on every hot cup (with foam of course), I mean honestly, I'm not being bias, we're awesome. But we don't have overstuffed chair(s), I don't know why you lie so. Yelpers should ALMOST never be trusted. They tell people we have big couches and overstuffed chairs... really? Where are they? We have one couch. And you weren't the first to sit there. Just sayin.
Alright well! On that positive note, I'm off. We've had enough.

Next time  I post, I almost promise a video.... probably not though but hey, crazier things have happened.

p.s. just finished Factotum, wishing I had read more slowly as it was amazing and I would have liked to savor his genius, but people were giving me funny looks. I guess I don't look like your typical Bukowski reader, but what do 'those people' look like anyway??
Anyway, I need a new book now so I'm open to suggestions.

Oh man oh man oh MAN!
Life is good. Seriously, I am headed exactly in the right direction.
It's so funny how we take these little detours, trying to find out which path to take, but then when you find it, it's like, traffic is smooth, weather is nice and you've got a full tank of gas.
I love it!
Finally started saving up some money for the days to come. I have about 200 in my saving right now and every week a new paycheck in my checking, it's fucking awesome. I love my life.

My new buddy Adam and I have been going to just about every music event we can find in Orange County and let me tell ya, for a place that's supposed to be so "up and coming" in music, there aren't THAT many things happening here! It's all in LA! It's ridiculous, hahah! But I've been meeting so many people and they all ask me what I'm doing and where I'm going and what not. Adam knows E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E.
Last week I got to see Dagha Blooms practice space where they held their last warehouse party, and let me tell you, I don't think I've seen a cooler space than that. I wish it was open to the PUBLIC! that's how fucking cool it is. They played their new song for us, which is EPIC. I felt privileged, to see the magic in action. I'm very lucky, I realize that more and more everyday.

Not to mention I finally had a few days off to hang with Benji and Yaz-dizzle. I love them, I always have such a good time with them. It's like the good ole days, when everyone got along and egos weren't flaring out of the roof. We're just friends, plan and simple. There for each other, caring about each other, it makes me a bit nostalgic, but then I realize, I wouldn't be where I am today, if it wasn't for all the events that occurred. Everything happens for a reason! It's our job to learn from our past mistakes, and keep making more, heheh :D

Work has been pretty awesome also. We get so many benefits at Mother's and the owner comes into Kean everyday so we're buds. I can't complain. I really can't complain. It's all experience to move me into the next step of my life.
I can't wait till I don't have to work two jobs to pay rent, till I can start playing music full time!!!! GAHH!!
And just wait! Within the next few months I'm getting my iMac and I'll be RECORDING! Hahahah!
My mouth just waters thinking about all the possibilities.... gahhhhh--->mouth watering.

Anyway, visiting Breanna at the end of this month, visiting Portland at the end of NEXT month and December? Who knows about December, so many things could happen between now and then, I don't even want to jinx myself. Let's just say, karma is not always just a bitch, sometimes it is a good-humored gentleman. And we're going to get it on.

hehehe.

OH OH OH! MY camera is up and running again, which MEANS, life is wonderful. This weather has been PERFECT for shooting outside, the clouds create the most beautiful defused lighting you can imagine. Everyone is beautiful in this light, even if they're not happy about the weather.

But I just wanted to write about the stuff that makes my world go round, because sometimes I forget all the ways in which I'm privileged.  I've got friends who love me, family I would die for and I'm meeting more people everyday. I've got a roof over my head, a car, food on my plate and if you didn't know, I'm a progessive human being, everyday means trying to become better in every way. Life. Is. Grand.
Wouldn't dare ask for more, I'll just go out and get it :P

So many pictures to chooooose from! Which shall prevail!?

life has been so complicated recently.
sometimes i wonder why it has to be do confusing.
why cant the people we like, like us back, and the things we hate, disappear. i mean, would it really be SO bad if we got what we wished for at least some of the time? if we got the pony, or the boy did actually ask us to prom, or we got into the college of our dreams even though it seemed so impossible.
and i'm not going to lie, sometimes, things turn out just the way i want them to. and i'm never grateful, i'm just confused. and a little upset. why, when i don't really care about the true outcome can my wishes come true and when i REALLY REALLY care it doesn't even come close to what i'd like to occur.
there are people i have known in my past that i would have liked to have known forever, and i know few of them now. people from my past who i have loved as people and they are the ones i have absolutely no chance of knowing again.
 it's ok, i guess, it's just so disappointing at the same time. cause i actually miss those people... genuinely, as who they were, i miss them.
though i am so grateful for the people i know now, also.
tonight i had two very important conversations with two very important people in my life. and they have taken me so well.
sometimes i don't get that either. what is it that we all share that can make us understand each other in that way? we are all so completely different. do they even know how interesting that is?

i wish more of my friends had blogs like this. i feel like it's putting a lot out there for people to see. and i want my friends to have some way that i could literally read about their lives. i mean we're all so different that we sometimes have a hard time understanding each other... sometimes things get misconstrued, things get twisted out of focus.
i feel like a journal could help to clarify. that's why i am so FOR journalism. sometimes words from the mouth cannot say words from the mind and the heart. sometimes it has to physically leave the body in a more concrete manner, otherwise, things one says can just floating in the space, completely unstable in meaning.
 
i'm a bit... 'tired'
it's a friday night and i'm almost 21... so sue me. i'm a big girl.
heheh. :)

life is about living, and that ain't no lie.
don't try to take that from me.