What Dreams May Come

Last night a had a really weird dream and I actually feel as though dreams can be really helpful for waking life, so I tried to remember as much of it as possible so I could write it down.

My dreams usually play out like a movie. Scene set in some place I've never been, some city I've probably seen in a movie. For some reason, this dream revolved around me trying to save my ex from a cult.

So it's starts like this: My ex-boyfriends mom comes to me and says her son is in town and he's joined some shady group of people. Just as she says that, there's the shady group of people walking by on the opposite side of the street. How convenient, right?

So, these people, they look pretty normal. Kinda hipster-ish, maybe lacking in color a bit. So, they don't really look that shady to me, but whatever, she's a Christian, and by my experience all Christians seem to think if you're not a Christian by choice, you're probably shady. So that's what I'm thinking in the dream.

She tells me they've brainwashed her son and that I'm the only one who can help him.

So I go, to the rescue of my ex, into the building where I the shady, non-Christian hipsters go. I pretend to the leader to be interested in joining, even though I have no idea what it is I would be joining. He let's me sit around while they conducted business, though I'm not really sure what "business" was. All I know is I heard the words "Devil" and "Worship" and that's when I knew this was more than just some confused group of hipster-fucks sitting in the dark. Suddenly I was aware of an abscess amount of candles on the table and the eerie red spray painted symbols on the walls. The table the boss was sitting at had some kind of throne... I dunno it was a fucking dream, everything was a blur.

So I guess a few days has gone by and I'm not talking to my ex because I don't want him to think I'm actually there to save him, I'm just... you know, trying new things.

Then one night, we move out to the balcony and by this point the dream has completely cut my ex out of the subject of focus and he's just a background character. I'm pretty stoked about this in my dream too because I'm really getting into the role of "pretend devil-worshiper rescue girl" only without someone I have to rescue, cause then it's less pressure. Not to mention in the dream he seems to not really be into the cult at all, he barely talks and he's just kind of a background person in the whole situation.

So I'm sitting on this balcony like I said, with the leader of the group and some other minions of his, and we're just talking and what not. Then, out of no where, a body wrapped in a white cloth is dangling above us, the feet of the body are at the same position as out heads, just a little above. We all look up, the leader is kind of nonchalant as he talks to some people in the balcony above. Tells them to "take him down, get him out of the way."  As soon as I find out who it is I start crying hysterically and no one seems to care or notice that I'm crying. The whole I'm I'm thinking 'I can't believe I let this happen.' My ex killed himself. And no one seems to care but me.

For some reason, this is the point at which I wake up. I tried to fall back asleep, to think of something better to wake up to, but every time I closed my eyes I'd think of the body hanging above. About him as a dead person. Quite depressing really. Anyway whenever I have dreams like that, I like to look them up, find out what the FUCK that was about.

So here's what I looked up, according to Dream Dictionary:

• Hanging - To watch a hanging in your dream, represents feelings of insecurity. The hanging may symbolize aspects of yourself that you want to eliminate.
• Devil - The devil represents intelligence, cunningness, deception, and cleverness.
• Cult - To see a cult in your dream, indicates that you are lacking any spiritual freedom. 
• Cry - To dream that you are crying, signifies a release of negative emotions that is more likely caused by some waking situation rather than the events of the dream itself. Your dream is a way to regain some emotional balance and to safely let out your fears and frustrations. In your daily lives, you tend to ignore, deny, or repress your feelings. But in your dream state, your defense mechanisms are no longer on guard and thus allow for the release of those feelings that you have repressed during the day.  
• Cry (Part 2) -To dream that no one hears or responds to your cries, represents your helplessness, difficulties and frustrations in trying to communicate with others. You feel that your words are falling on deaf ears. Perhaps your dream is telling you to be more vocal and work harder to get your point across.

 So yah... I dunno that was a weird dream. It makes sense though... everything.