a different perspective

you know that everyone thinks they're different. everyone. everyone thinks they're special or they're some how completely unique than anyone else in the world. and they are, but not in the way they're thinking, you know? i honestly believe that everyone has a special task or assignment if you will, that they are meant to complete, that will create a huge but discrete change in the world. i truly believe this. no one knows, but the smallest thing you do could effect so many.
that's why i try not to litter, or treat people badly, or say anything that would be offensive, or be biast, or prejudice. 
anyway!! i miss writing funny things. @ least i think they're pretty hilarious. but that's just me, i just love to crack me up, haha :)

this one's going to be a long one. i feel i've got a lot to say. the past couple of days have pretty much been suck-a-licous. no joke. pretty bad. i mean i love hanging out with yasmine, but i just feel like we're both oh so bored, and we have no outlet. and no one ever wants to do anything so we're forced to entertain ourselves. gah.
also, i haven't touched my keyboard(literally) in probably about 4 days. dont tell my dad. i just am bored with myself and my songs. i told myself that i cant write a new song till i finish those two i started, but i'm so ridiculously picky with my lyrics. if they're dumb or cliche, i just cannot leave them. i write music to express myself and i'd like to think i can do so with more of the symbolism and general emphasis than just, "i've been so sad, oh things are bad..." etc. haha.
yeah i'd never write lyrics like that. most my lyrics are about love. for everyone, mostly family, personal trials and tribulations. but i feel like they're all coming out the same. just the lyrics, not the songs. so now every time i hear a song i study it. all songs. good and bad. i see what i dont like about the bad ones, and how they differ both lyrically and structurally from songs i like.

then i begin to think i'm really thinking way way way too much. and i just want to write. i know it's in me, so why cant i just let it out?

i guess it'd help if my throat wasn't still so sore. and i cant help singing. i'll try going a couple of days without it, see if i can heal up. it wont happen, i already know that. i have to sing. it's no longer a personal choice.


it's my... lover. : )