EDIT:: It seems people have been reading this blog incorrectly so I have taken the time to change the wording to make the post more understandable. Here we go again people!!

alright... i'll post something.

i have been feeling a lack of connection... with everyone.
i don't know how to regain that connection.


my band, rae nae & the badger, doesn't exist anymore due to... complications(see: Se-June Park got a girlfriend and therefore became a total PRICK who was no fun to be around and lost all his friends and for some reason whatever talent we though he had, and had his entire focus become a girl. not that we didn't think that would happen, we just never thought it would be to that degree. the girl herself had nothing to do with the break-up of the band and we all knew that already though I didn't think it had to be said, obviously it does).
it's not a big deal, i just... i want to keep making music and i haven't been able to even look at to guitar out of it's case. i even found the cord to the keyboard. there's NO reason for me not to be playing.
or writing... or singing, for that matter.

i guess i'm a bit depressed.
i lost my best friend to a girl (suprisa suprisa! who didn't see that coming?!), my sister has moved out of town, and life in general has been in a downward spiral. where's the hope?
 i WILL be fine. and i know that... somewhere inside i DO know that. but it's getting harder and harder to hold onto that idea... when it's taking SO.LONG.
but that's the thing about life... with time, comes change.
i just have to be patient, wait out the bad stuff, and TRY to progress, otherwise nothing will happen. i keep WAITING for something to come to me. i keep waiting and waiting and waiting for something to get me up in the morning besides work. in the last 3 months, i've made up stuff to keep me getting up... and i'm running out. i'm running out of stuff to keep me loving my life.
which can only mean, it's time to start again... to crawl out of hiding and do what i love: sing, write, make music.
it's alright if i'm alone... people make music alone all the time. i KNOW i can do it.
i just wish i had something... to keep me going. something to keep me going.